I cant be there to hold you,
I cant be the other,
I cant be oh so sober,
I cant be a good lover.
Broken bottle glass carpets the floor as I wake,
Realizing my life is too worthless for anyone to take,
Body scarred, mind damaged, and my soul is torn,
In a derelict room, always feeling forlorn,
I wish for my dreams to somehow be alive,
This reality is too harsh, it's burning my own mind,
Is it the insanity, the alcohol or drugs,
That has made me wanna finally just give up?,
I'm holding to the edge with only one hand,
I can sense yours reaching me but see it I cant,
I'm in that valley they say is between life and death,
But I cant move to either side, I dont know what's best,
I guess I'll simply survive, live as I may,
Not giving a fuck to what my unloved ones say,
So I take another sip of my poison, then,
I look back to the paper and re-grab the pen.
I cant be there to hold you,
I cant be the other,
I cant be oh so sober,
I cant be a good lover.
I wish I could change my lifestyle, believe me,
But Satan's gt a hold on me, tryna deceive me,
He needs me, and I need you, but rely on him,
Sold my soul for lust, and he has my supply of sin,
I love you, and it hurts, so I need a distraction,
But an orgasm doesnt equate to mental satisfation,
And intoxication is a ruse, it has no meaning,
Nor does a pause in feelings as I watch myself bleeding,
I'm weakening, and nothing can stop me fading away,
But I know this is what happens wen you like saving the day,
I would try to fight, but what's the point wen you're not here?
And if I die, still I know that we'll not be near,
I lived for you, and I'll die for you like you did for me,
Like Romeo & Juliet except we'll not meet in eternity,
Crushed, I keep happy thoughts of you on my brain,
So it's your essence I'm injecting meanwhile in my vein.
I cant be there to hold you,
I cant be the other,
I cant be oh so sober,
I cant be a good lover.
Perhaps I'll always be an inadequate lover,
Maybe I'll die the killer, maybe I'll feel like my mother,
It's unimportant, but I'll die a guilt-ridden writer,
I put down the ink blade, and pull out the hidden lighter,
Stumble off the chair, sip toxic, and pour it on the floor,
Rip the poems up, it joins the alcohol, they dont need to exist anymore,
The shadows around me look at each other in surprise,
After yrs of torment, my death will be their demise,
My body is burning outta anticipation but I'm shivering,
I cool it down with alcohol till my skin is glistening,
There is no fear, just guilt evaporating into calm,
'Cause I'm avenging your death, and it'll put an end to the harm,
I sit on the chair again and clasp your letter in my hand,
The demons standing around me, they dont yet seem to understand,
I close my eyes and dream as the alcohol meets the flame,
There's pain, but not as much as wen I would live in the shade.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Thursday, April 02, 2009
I Love You Too Much To Live.
I need you.
Lost in a sea of impossible desire,
Only you could save me, frm my internal fire.
Vague memories fading like sand grains through hands,
Each second that passes I pray God meets my demands.
Yet I know He wont, you’re gone frm me forever,
Only in my dreams do I see us once again together.
Unlike my body, my soul is broken into two,
Take care of the other half, because I know it left with you.
On many occasions the guilt suffocates me,
Once or twice I know that you’d love to save me.
Maybe you have, that’s why shadows always follow,
Unless they’re here to remind me that part of my chest is hollow.
Chances are I’ll never care for anyone as much as you,
Hard to admit, but it hurts because I put my trust in you.
Time heals my wounds, but I’ll always be scarred,
Or I’ll always be falling over wen in the dark.
Live, wherever you are, spirit, watch over me,
I need to know that mentally I’m still in your company.
Vault sealed in my mind, I’m not yet ready to move on,
Externally, not till I’ve fallen into my own tombstone.
Lost in a sea of impossible desire,
Only you could save me, frm my internal fire.
Vague memories fading like sand grains through hands,
Each second that passes I pray God meets my demands.
Yet I know He wont, you’re gone frm me forever,
Only in my dreams do I see us once again together.
Unlike my body, my soul is broken into two,
Take care of the other half, because I know it left with you.
On many occasions the guilt suffocates me,
Once or twice I know that you’d love to save me.
Maybe you have, that’s why shadows always follow,
Unless they’re here to remind me that part of my chest is hollow.
Chances are I’ll never care for anyone as much as you,
Hard to admit, but it hurts because I put my trust in you.
Time heals my wounds, but I’ll always be scarred,
Or I’ll always be falling over wen in the dark.
Live, wherever you are, spirit, watch over me,
I need to know that mentally I’m still in your company.
Vault sealed in my mind, I’m not yet ready to move on,
Externally, not till I’ve fallen into my own tombstone.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
The Legal Slaughter Of A Baby.
Oh, I guess, we'll call it abortion. What else can I call it, murder? No. It's not illegal, it's justified. A few situations to talk of:
Girl gets raped. Young, frightened, violated, vulnerable. Can she handle the growing sin in her womb? Can she go through so much mental pain and try to heal her broken soul, whilst being under physical pressure that pregnancy gives? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. If no, can she be blamed for wanting to abort the product of something that gives her nightmares for the rest of her life? I think not. True, a life has been lost, but many lives are often lost.
Compare...
To a girl; wanting sex, quickly. Not wanting to bother with hesitations and precautions of something that "will probably never happen". But it does. Is it her fault? Not only, the other person is equally at blame. But they're young, they like their life as it is: fun, immature, spontaneous. No time for jobs yet, time for fun! So you have an abortion. Excuses going through your mind...it's not your fault, afterall, and this parasite inside you...well, it isnt alive. Do what you gotta do, dont look back, continue your life without a care for innocent lives...wait, did I say life? No, not life, parasite. Afterall...it isnt alive.
Abortion is legal, so who cares for protection? Fuck it, abortion IS birth control. A mound of tiny and blood-stained arms, legs, heads, rests on your conscience. 1 in every 30 aborted babies survives, and the percentage of survival increases by each week. Who cares? This parasite, it isnt alive...right? In the past aborted babies did sometimes survive; like those small, gooey aliens you can buy in stores, but red, and living, on tables in hospitals...cleaners finding body parts or whole, living babies...throw them away in the garbage.
If you support abortion you support murder, and fuck anyone who disagrees. I cant pretend I'm not ignorant on the subject: I will never respect a killer, so how can I respect a baby-killer who cant accept the consequences of their own CHOICES? If you're pro-CHOICE, then make your CHOICE not to have sex. You wont, because it's easier to kill something you've never met, than it is, to not act on your hormones.
Girl gets raped. Young, frightened, violated, vulnerable. Can she handle the growing sin in her womb? Can she go through so much mental pain and try to heal her broken soul, whilst being under physical pressure that pregnancy gives? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. If no, can she be blamed for wanting to abort the product of something that gives her nightmares for the rest of her life? I think not. True, a life has been lost, but many lives are often lost.
Compare...
To a girl; wanting sex, quickly. Not wanting to bother with hesitations and precautions of something that "will probably never happen". But it does. Is it her fault? Not only, the other person is equally at blame. But they're young, they like their life as it is: fun, immature, spontaneous. No time for jobs yet, time for fun! So you have an abortion. Excuses going through your mind...it's not your fault, afterall, and this parasite inside you...well, it isnt alive. Do what you gotta do, dont look back, continue your life without a care for innocent lives...wait, did I say life? No, not life, parasite. Afterall...it isnt alive.
Abortion is legal, so who cares for protection? Fuck it, abortion IS birth control. A mound of tiny and blood-stained arms, legs, heads, rests on your conscience. 1 in every 30 aborted babies survives, and the percentage of survival increases by each week. Who cares? This parasite, it isnt alive...right? In the past aborted babies did sometimes survive; like those small, gooey aliens you can buy in stores, but red, and living, on tables in hospitals...cleaners finding body parts or whole, living babies...throw them away in the garbage.
If you support abortion you support murder, and fuck anyone who disagrees. I cant pretend I'm not ignorant on the subject: I will never respect a killer, so how can I respect a baby-killer who cant accept the consequences of their own CHOICES? If you're pro-CHOICE, then make your CHOICE not to have sex. You wont, because it's easier to kill something you've never met, than it is, to not act on your hormones.
The Purpose.
Okay, so basically my reason for signing upto this is because I gt a lot of thoughts. I feel sorry for the amount of trees I've killed, because I use up so much paper. Time to get technical, despite me being a technophobe, and use a computer to portray my thoughts, type up some poetry, songs, opinions, whatever I want. Free will is good like that.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Slavery.
A long time ago is where we start the story,
Wen some ppl invaded and tried to deport me,
Men with pale faces, force, and sharp tongues,
Then with failed basis, law, was not brung,
They chained us all together, put metal round our necks,
And blamed us for whatever, simply if they were vexed;
Whipped us, jabbed us, hit us, stabbed us,
Fixed our, statures, it was, madness,
Loaded us onto wooden beasts that had been brought,
Low enough to admit defeat frm getting caught,
Disease spreads quick wen packed as close as particles,
Indeed dread hits wen mind lacks what your heart still knows,
Suicide is a lesser crime than betraying pride,
Some did side with the ever-time by not staying dry,
Salty taste in their mouths as they begin to drown,
Halted pace of the crowds, but we're still to be bound,
Months of fear, then to our destination we arrive,
Monsters near, men counting lesser faces who survived,
Now tamed, ex-warrior skeletons we'd become,
How blamed! Them sorry irrelevant needy scum,
Traded for resources and used to keep causes,
Abused by deep force that was used to beat horses,
We were slaves, a workload for their convenience,
Till our graves, we'd lurk low, they had no lenience.
Wen some ppl invaded and tried to deport me,
Men with pale faces, force, and sharp tongues,
Then with failed basis, law, was not brung,
They chained us all together, put metal round our necks,
And blamed us for whatever, simply if they were vexed;
Whipped us, jabbed us, hit us, stabbed us,
Fixed our, statures, it was, madness,
Loaded us onto wooden beasts that had been brought,
Low enough to admit defeat frm getting caught,
Disease spreads quick wen packed as close as particles,
Indeed dread hits wen mind lacks what your heart still knows,
Suicide is a lesser crime than betraying pride,
Some did side with the ever-time by not staying dry,
Salty taste in their mouths as they begin to drown,
Halted pace of the crowds, but we're still to be bound,
Months of fear, then to our destination we arrive,
Monsters near, men counting lesser faces who survived,
Now tamed, ex-warrior skeletons we'd become,
How blamed! Them sorry irrelevant needy scum,
Traded for resources and used to keep causes,
Abused by deep force that was used to beat horses,
We were slaves, a workload for their convenience,
Till our graves, we'd lurk low, they had no lenience.
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